Saturday, April 02, 2005

Watched honey for the second time yesterday. It's so uber nice! Might be watching it again later! (:

I guess I'm feeling a little better. Trying hard not to think about it. Sigh, it still appear up in my mind all the time lah.

It has been tough on Mans. So is the rest of the clique. I feel as though I’m in a relationship. I keep trying to hold on, but no one listens. I keep trying to pull, they push instead. & that made me fall even easier. No one knows the heartache behind my smiles. If we were to spilt up the clique, I’m so sure I’d be left outside alone. I’m left with no one to lead on. Mans is tired, I could see. Her heart is heavy enough, clique problem can’t always rely on her. It’s not that I wanna leave her alone to let her settle the problems herself. I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do. When I confide them in my problems, no one answered, no one gave comments or advices. Still, I’m left alone. Left me more alone than before. I know mans would always be there but I don’t wanna trouble her anymore. Look at her situation now, I know she is unstable. Sigh.

I’m sure the path I’ve chosen ain’t gonna be easy for me. I just gotta pull myself through. Just like before, I’m doing it over & over again. I know somehow people around me are giving up on me already. Buddy is tired of concerning & caring & asking when I just kept my mouth shut. Sigh. I’m sorry buddy. No one knows how it feels to be me. Betrayed trust, backstabbing, all I had. I don’t want it anymore.

The picture of her & her makes me feel even worst. It kept appearing up on my mind. I know gotta set her free this time. Since she’s happier now with her, so I gotta leave the world of hers. I just wanna drink & dance my life away. I wanna get carried away by happiness but there ain’t any present. My head is spinning terribly now. Imma unhappy bitch/slut.

Michelle told me something ‘bout her though. I was kinda shocked, surprised as well as expected lah. (: like she told me before, she’ll break down again ‘cos of damn problems she’s having. Poor little thang. Riots & disasters all the time. Sigh.

I think I gotta surrender. The spinning of head is killing me.

I’m outta lovehere.

I'm sorry. ):

; stick with you

missGLYNIS!
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promoted to sec 4
more cash
grow taller/lose 5 kg
green weaved bag
N7260
iPod Nano!
Canon DSC-T3
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colour contacts
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Jay's November Chopin' (must have)
giant size 35cm metoyou bear!
learn how to play mahjong
a new handbag